At the moment I am very up and down.
One minute I’m on the verge of tears and the next I’m bouncing up and down.
I don’t know where this has come from or why it is happening.
I know I’m not bipolar because my psychiatrist ruled that out pretty early on, but my moods do just jump up and down.
I guess this is my emotionally unstable personality disorder, does what it says really, my emotions are incredibly unstable.
The thing is, I had been holding it together so well, and now it feels like it’s all slipping.
Despite all the therapy and the tools I have learned I just can’t see to get a grip on it.
I think that’s because I don’t know where it’s coming from.
If someone had upset me I could address that issue.
If I wasn’t sleeping enough I could try and adjust.
Yet I don’t know what is causing this disruption, so how am I meant to tackle it.
Maybe I need to slow down, but when I do I completely stop, there’s no half way for me. It’s all or nothing.
If I have nothing to do, I will do nothing.
I need to keep busy but I don’t need to run myself down. It’s difficult finding a balance though.
I just wish I knew what I needed to get back on even ground.
I’m fed up of the highs and lows.
I would love to just be level.