Today you saw your psychiatrist and he told you something you didn’t want to hear; he told you that it will be 2 years before you can have children, and this hurts you because you would love to have a family now.
I’m here to tell you not to worry. Things will be ok. Sure it’s not the way you wanted it to be and it goes against the things you had planned in your head but not everything goes to plan; and sometimes you get things that you want that were never in your plan.
Just take a look at your life, you are 24. You are getting married in less than 3 months; you didn’t imagine this would happen so early. You have a mortgage; you didn’t expect that so soon. You have a man that loves you unconditionally and would do anything to please you; bet you didn’t see that one coming either.
See plans are all well and good but if you try and plan every detail of your life then you won’t ever have any amazing surprises and life would be boring really.
So many things have happened to you unexpectedly and many of them are great things.
You are young and you have a good job, a car, a house, a strong support network, and good friends.
You go on fun little holidays and do things that you never dreamed you would dare to do.
Remember when you went to Devon and you went bike riding around the forest; you are scared of biking normally, especially on such rough terrain, but you did it. In the same week you did a tree top obstacle course when you are scared of heights. You can do these things and take risks and enjoy yourself right now, you don’t have someone that is relying on you at this moment in time so it’s easier to be carefree.
You can stay up late with your partner and watch rubbish films, you can sleep in until 12 on a weekend, you can go out and get stupidly drunk and not worry about it.
These things might not be possible when you do have children so you need to enjoy them now.
2 years may seem like a long time but you need time, time to recover, and time to enjoy life, time to prepare for the challenges ahead.
It will be worth the wait and if you fill you that time with fun and love and make great memories then it certainly won’t be time wasted.
Then when the time is right you will be in a much better place with many amazing memories to look back on and to build the rest of your life upon.
You will be a mum one day, and you will be a great one.
Have less fear, enjoy your life and the people around you and use the time you have in any way that makes you happy.
Be spontaneous and crazy and do the things you never thought you would dare to do because one day those doors won’t be open anymore and you will regret missed opportunities.
You are strong, don’t take this as a setback, it’s just the first step on this journey, you asked the question and you got the answer, now take that advice and do what you need to do for you for now.
Enjoy yourself and in a few years you will have what you wish for and will be glad for the time you had for just you and your partner, you won’t have this time again.
Your compassionate friend.