Compassionate letter #5.

Hello friend.

It’s time for you to stop and breathe.

You’ve got a lot going on, a wedding to plan, a full time job to do, friendships to juggle.

Take a step back and realise you’ve got it all under control.

You’ve made massive progress planning the wedding today, and if you’re completely honest with yourself it’s been really well planned the whole way though, you’ve made sure of it.

Work is what it is, you need a job and although it’s busy and stressful, you are good at it, so have faith and soldier on.

You’re friends don’t require your constant attention and they are there to support you too. They love you and would do anything to ensure you are happy and healthy.

Take a step back.

Breathe.

Focus on the positives.

You are doing well.

Everyone has set backs, you can work through this.

Stay strong my friend.

With love always,

Your compassionate friend. 

Compassionate letter #5.

#lovemechallenge 

Day 3.

A word that describes me.

The best one I’ve got is unpredictable. 

I am quite spontaneous so people don’t know what I am going to do next.

My behaviour can change from one week to the next.

I go through cycles of being in a really good routine and then completely losing it.

My emotions are all over the place a lot of the time.

So there we go, unpredictable. 

#lovemechallenge 

#lovemechallenge 

Today is day 2 and I have to share a photo of myself, obviously I don’t want to show my face so let’s show my backside ahaha. 

This is me climbing Snowdon late in 2015.

I was on my way to the summit, which I reached, and it was the second time I had reached it, and the second time in that week!

The weather was much nicer than it had been earlier in the week and we had a clear view from the summit.

Hopefully I’ll make it to the top again in a couple of months on my honeymoon. 

#lovemechallenge 

#lovemechallenge

I saw this on Facebook and thought I’d give it a try.

Each day you check off the next thing on the list.

Today is number 1.

Why are you doing #loveme?

I want to share a bit about what I am learning about myself.

I know that day 2 involves sharing a picture but I will keep it pretty obscure to protect my anonymity.

So why am I doing it?

It seems like a good way to share some positivity and to reflect on the good things in my life.

I struggle to be positive and to give myself some love so I thought this would be a good idea.

Also it gives me a reason to blog everyday which I feel is good for me, but something that I am not doing as much as I would like.

Positivity is so important, as is giving yourself some care and attention.

I want to share this journey with you and see where I am in 28 days.

I hope you will come with me on this journey.

Thanks for reading!

#lovemechallenge

Compassionate letter #4

Hello old friend,

How are you doing?

How is your sister?

She will get better you know, I promise you she will.

I know you are worried about her but you can’t let it rule your life. You need to remain healthy if you are to be of any use to her.

Look after yourself and then you can help to look after her, and the rest of your family. Supporting your mum and dad at what is a challenging time.

Don’t do too much though. It isn’t your responsibility to look after everyone, as much as you think it is. They just need your support, you don’t need to do every little thing for them, they are adults too.

Make time to do what you enjoy and have a break from all the worrying.

It takes time to recover, you of all people know that, given the journey you have been on yourself.

Have patience and good things will come, she will get better, and she will thank you for any support you gave her, she will understand that you couldn’t be there every day, and she will appreciate that you did what you needed to in order for you to remain healthy too.

Don’t be hard on yourself, I know it’s difficult to see someone suffering when you can’t do anything to help them but other people had to do the same when you were ill and you don’t feel resentment towards them for not finding a magic cure, so she won’t feel that towards you. 

You are doing all you can.

Stay strong and look after yourself and everyone else will follow.

With love,

Your compassionate friend. 

Compassionate letter #4

Exercise because you love your body, not because you hate it.

I’ve recently started exercising again. Just little bits, one netball session a week and a few classes at the gym.

I used to exercise to the extreme, running up to 20 miles at a time, and I did it because I was striving for the perfect body. 

At this point I had already halved my body weight but I still wasn’t happy, I kept pushing myself further and further on a quest for some form of perfection that I couldn’t define. I always wanted more from myself and all I had to give wasn’t enough.

After falling ill and quitting exercise because, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t have the motivation to get out of bed let alone get sweaty, I have been through a lot of therapy and tried to deal with my issues and conquer my demons that tell me that enough is never good enough.

I feel like I am in a much better place now and I am wanting to exercise for the right reasons.

I want to be healthy, not skinny.

I want to work to increase my stamina and see my fitness levels rise.

The size of my clothes and the number on the scales is irrelevant, what matters is how I feel, not how I look.

Learn to love yourself as you are, no matter how you feel I promise you are worthy and you are more than good enough.

Exercise because you love your body, not because you hate it.

Compassionate letter #3

So the basis behind this letter is that my sister is in hospital and has been since before Christmas, when she was first in I saw her nearly every day and even had time off work to go and visit her, since then I found my own mental health was suffering as a result of the pressures of visiting someone that is so unwell (she had a physical illness but it has now manifested into a mental illness where she is very out of touch with the world and what is really happening).

For over a week now I have not seen her and although I felt immense guilt at first, people around me have encouraged me to take a step back and focus on myself because she is so unwell she isn’t even fully aware that I am actually there.

However, yesterday someone told me that I should be visiting her because she is my sister so I owe her that, now my feelings of guilt have returned so this letter aims to challenge the guilt I am once again feeling.

Dear Friend,

You have no reason to feel guilty, you were there right at the beginning and took on a lot of the pressure of the situation. You did things that should have been the responsibility of your parents, but you took on that role. You were there for her, supporting her, managing to get her to eat and take her tablets when she wouldn’t for anyone else.

Then you started to suffer, your mental health started to go downhill and you must put yourself first. You can’t care for someone if you aren’t caring for yourself first. You have seen the quote that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s true, you need to be well and healthy to fully help her recover.

You have done so much for all of your family over the years and they appreciate everything that you have done, and you should know that they don’t expect it of you, it is you yourself that puts unnecessary pressure onto yourself.

Most of the people around you agree that you are doing the right thing in taking a break from the situation and becoming less involved

Don’t let the words of one person ruin all the progress that you have made.

I promise you, you have nothing to feel guilty for.

With love,

Your compassionate friend.

Compassionate letter #3