Absent.

So I’ve been pretty absent the past couple of weeks.

I keep meaning to write down how I’m feeling but when I try nothing comes out.

I’m going through a bit of a rough patch.

My eating is sliding, my moods are irregular, I missed a day of work due to not feeling like I could even get out of bed. All the techniques I’ve learned in therapy have essentially been abandoned. I’m gaining weight and I just feel like a lump.

I don’t understand why any of this is happening though, nothing has really changed.

Maybe it’s just being a normal functioning adult is taking its toll on me after me being out of action for so long.

I had my hen party this week and I just felt like I didn’t belong. They had done a great job organising it and I had a good time, but I knew I should have been having a better time.

Today I read something on Facebook that I didn’t want to see too, this sent me into a bit of a bad place, and my fiance didn’t understand. He never understands why other people’s lives concern me so much, but if something affects me then I can’t just not feel what I’m feeling. I don’t have that sort of control.

I text a friend and she made me feel better.

I needed to write about it though, I need to get this out in a healthy way.

I need to be vocal about the fact that things are so great.

I need to admit it to myself.

I need to challenge these things that are happening and focus on a better future.

I need to share my story.

From now on, I’ll try to be less absent.

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Absent.

5 thoughts on “Absent.

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