We have just found out that my fiance’s cousin is pregnant.
That is great news, really it is, I am so happy for them.
Then my emotions kick in.
All I want is a baby, I have wanted one for as long as I remember, I want my own little family.
So we hear the news and my initial reaction is happiness, then a few seconds later I feel sick, I want to cry, I am so incredibly jealous of what they are about to experience, the possibilities that are so close for them now.
Why do I feel this way?
Why can’t I just be happy for them?
I wish I could but I can’t fight down the feelings that I am having.
There is tightness in my chest, my heart is beating fast and I feel sick and tearful.
I wish I didn’t have to feel like this.
I just want to be happy for them.