When I was first diagnosed with depression the doctor put me on antidepressants, a standard one that is used for everyone really.
It helped me very little and I continued to be unable to work and function normally.
I was then referred to a psychiatrist and he gave me new tablets. These helped, I started to improve, then he took me off them, along with being antidepressants they were also an anti psychotic medication and he said I didn’t end it. He changed me medication and I suddenly went into a downward spiral.
One of the effects of antidepressants can be increased depression and suicidal thoughts. During my time on this medication I got consistently worse. I tried to kill myself a few times. Something had to change.
The next time I saw him he put me back on the anti psychotic medication and increased the dose, he also introduced a new medication, a mood stabiliser.
Due to my borderline personality disorder this was the key point in me turning things around, I believe.
The mood stabiliser had to be introduced slowly to prevent me having an adverse reaction. They got me up to the lowest functioning dose after about 2 months. I was improving but no where near normal.
After seeing my psychiatrist again he decided to double my current dose, in increments of course.
By the time my dose had reached its full level I felt like a different person.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have my conditions and they still affect me but I have slightly more control than I used to because my emotions are so in control of me.
I am glad I persevered and waited to find the right tablets for me.
They are an absolute God send and I feel like a different person.
I am so glad my psychiatrist kept going and looked at my bpd as well as my anxiety and depression and saw that it was the main thing that needed to be targeted.
I am so thankful that treatment is out there, and it has, and is still able, to make me feel more like myself, without all the craziness that I have been used to for so long.
So thank you to all the people that have played a part in my recovery so far.
I am a better person because of it.