Self compassion

Having compassion for yourself is incredibly important, you should treat yourself the way you would treat other people and your inner dialogue should give you the support that you would extend to other people in hard times.

I lack self compassion.

Nothing I do is ever good enough in my mind and I take on the blame for many things outside of my control.

My parent’s divorce, my fault. My own downward spiral, my fault. My ex cheating on me, my fault. My sister getting poorly, my fault.

But it’s not really my fault, in fact not even close. My nurse told me that if I really had the power to control these things then I would be some kind of higher being with incredible power, and clearly I am not.

My therapist has been working with me on self compassion, she has helped me create an imaginary figure that provides a compassionate voice in my head – my compassionate friend.

I had to imagine someone with all the qualities you would want in a caring and compassionate friend. The image that came to my mind was the big blue monster from monsters inc. Big and caring and soft and friendly. Someone I can rely on to care for me when I really need it.

She told me that when I’m in a situation where I need a supportive inner dialogue that I should turn to my compassionate friend; close my eyes, go to my safe place and call upon my big blue monster.

I am also encouraged to write myself letters from my compassionate friend to help me deal with my anxieties. When something goes wrong and my anxiety takes over I need to take a break, give myself some space, grab a pen and paper and let my compassionate friend answer my questions in the way I would answer them if I was on the outside of the situation.

So I am going to use this blog to write my letters from my compassionate friend.

A place where I can save them for myself to read them over again, and a place to share them for other people to see that it’s ok to have a bit of compassion for yourself.

It’s ok to struggle and it’s ok to feel down and anxious, this is normal; but it’s also normal to look after yourself and your mental health and to talk yourself through your feelings and come to a conclusion that is detrimental to yourself.

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Self compassion

11 thoughts on “Self compassion

  1. bpd2know1amworthy says:

    🙂 LOVE your reference to Sulley from Monsters Inc. I have an 8×10 photo of him from one of the Disney parades that I printed out with the words “it’s okay to feel good” printed on it. Feeling good was foreign to me and this was a visual reminder that it’s okay. This photo therapy is on my DBT binder 🙂 He is a cutie!!!! ❤ wish I could share it with you!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tried to comment on your post about Sulley but it wouldn’t let me post the comment
      Just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read what I put and for thinking of me and writing your post
      So nice to feel connected to other people in similar situations, so thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bpd2know1amworthy says:

        Thank you so much!!!!! 🙂 ❤ I removed the post after much self-analyzing 🙂 I really wanted to share the photo with you in all my excitement as I was so happy with the shared appreciation of Sulley 🙂 I didn't know how else for you to see it so I'm glad you had the chance before I removed it 🙂 Thanks so much for letting me know!!!!! I am so new at this and really afraid of displeasing someone – still such a work in progress! 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. bpd2know1amworthy says:

        Me too – I just re-did it and re-posted – THANK YOU! I LOVE looking at this photo – makes me feel so good and brings a smile to my face each time 🙂 🙂 Cheers to you and to me for putting ourselves out there, being our authentic selves and being vulnerable, and learning that it’s okay to say what we want to say 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great idea for a blog! Self compassion is so important. I am also working on having more self compassion since losing my Dad just over a year ago. Thanks for sharing this. I have just started a poetry blog here on WordPress in case you are interested in taking a look? Have a good day, Sam 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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