Having compassion for yourself is incredibly important, you should treat yourself the way you would treat other people and your inner dialogue should give you the support that you would extend to other people in hard times.
I lack self compassion.
Nothing I do is ever good enough in my mind and I take on the blame for many things outside of my control.
My parent’s divorce, my fault. My own downward spiral, my fault. My ex cheating on me, my fault. My sister getting poorly, my fault.
But it’s not really my fault, in fact not even close. My nurse told me that if I really had the power to control these things then I would be some kind of higher being with incredible power, and clearly I am not.
My therapist has been working with me on self compassion, she has helped me create an imaginary figure that provides a compassionate voice in my head – my compassionate friend.
I had to imagine someone with all the qualities you would want in a caring and compassionate friend. The image that came to my mind was the big blue monster from monsters inc. Big and caring and soft and friendly. Someone I can rely on to care for me when I really need it.
She told me that when I’m in a situation where I need a supportive inner dialogue that I should turn to my compassionate friend; close my eyes, go to my safe place and call upon my big blue monster.
I am also encouraged to write myself letters from my compassionate friend to help me deal with my anxieties. When something goes wrong and my anxiety takes over I need to take a break, give myself some space, grab a pen and paper and let my compassionate friend answer my questions in the way I would answer them if I was on the outside of the situation.
So I am going to use this blog to write my letters from my compassionate friend.
A place where I can save them for myself to read them over again, and a place to share them for other people to see that it’s ok to have a bit of compassion for yourself.
It’s ok to struggle and it’s ok to feel down and anxious, this is normal; but it’s also normal to look after yourself and your mental health and to talk yourself through your feelings and come to a conclusion that is detrimental to yourself.